


Greeted as an Old Friend

by tomfoolery14



Series: Writer's Month 2020 [1]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Boys In Love, Comfort/Angst, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, M/M, Magnus is the loving and understanding partner Alec needs, Mental Health Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-07
Updated: 2020-08-07
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:20:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 839
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25760479
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tomfoolery14/pseuds/tomfoolery14
Summary: Depression. It felt like an unfamiliar word to Alec, even though he had been familiar with the feeling for so long that there was much less time he could remember without it. There was never a word for the hollow, numb feeling he had become so accustomed to growing up because he wasn’t supposed to have feelings like that. And if he did, they were meant to be kept to himself. But then when he started seeing Magnus, he had someone who not only would listen but who could understand.
Relationships: Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Series: Writer's Month 2020 [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1868773
Comments: 1
Kudos: 62





	Greeted as an Old Friend

**Author's Note:**

> written for writer's month: day 7 - hurt/comfort

_Depression._ It felt like an unfamiliar word to Alec, even though he had been familiar with the feeling for so long that there was much less time he could remember without it. There was never a word for the hollow, numb feeling he had become so accustomed to growing up because he wasn’t supposed to have feelings like that. And if he did, they were meant to be kept to himself. But then when he started seeing Magnus, he had someone who not only would listen but who could understand.

Some days, Alec woke up with the feeling that he was lying beneath the weight of the entire world, and he couldn’t manage to get up for breakfast for a few hours. Magnus knew what it meant, when no one else ever had; he would say it was okay to just work from home today, they could manage without him for the day.

Today was one such day.

Even his eyelashes felt heavy when he cracked open one eye to look at the bedroom glowing faintly from the sun’s rays, warmed by the natural light. Magnus was still beside him asleep, his chest rising and falling so peacefully. Opening his other eye, Alec turned his cheek against the pillow and traced his finger with the barest pressure along one of the soft pieces of gold-streaked hair falling against his husband’s forehead. Sometimes he found himself wondering what kind of dreams he was having, what he saw behind closed eyelids. The idea crossed his mind that he could surprise Magnus with breakfast in bed since he was awake early, and he wanted to, yet his body was dead weight on the mattress.

For a while, he just laid on his back and stared up at the ceiling. If he looked closely enough, he could trace the thin paint strokes like lines on a map. He didn’t know just how long the moment stretched on, but it didn’t end until Magnus started to wake up. Alec watched him start to stir, stretching his limbs and rolling over onto his stomach.

“Good morning,” Magnus murmured drowsily, eyes still closed. Alec mustered a hum in response, and from the way Magnus’ eyes opened suddenly to look at him, it was apparent he could already tell something was wrong. “How are you feeling, Alexander?”

Establishing a dialogue about his mental health with someone so that he didn’t have to carry the burden alone was a luxury he was still learning how to take advantage of. But it was a great relief to be able to speak in simple words but still know he was conveying those complex, knotted feelings inside. “I think it’s one of those days,” was all he had to say to know he had been understood.

Inching closer to Alec beneath the golden sheets, Magnus pressed his body flush against him. His fingers grazed across the inside of Alec’s forearm and traced the stark black lines of his runes with a tenderness they didn’t deserve. “Okay, baby. That’s okay.” The warm, gentle kiss he pressed to the round of Alec’s shoulder started a warmth blooming in his chest.

He had a way of making it seem so simple when, to Alec, it had always felt anything but. When he finally agreed to try talking to a counselor, Magnus talked him through it as if it were just as normal as any everyday activity. Dr. Hale was highly recommended by some of the members of the medical field that Catarina worked with, and soon their weekly visits were just as much a part of his routine as chocolate croissants on Thursdays with Isabelle.

“When you’re ready to get up, how about we make lemon blueberry pancakes for breakfast?”

“It’s almost noon,” Alec couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Fine then—brunch. You know you love when I make them for you.” Nosing along the curve of Alec’s jaw, he could feel the smile on his skin. “Besides, I think it’s time to let you in on the secret recipe.”

Alec meant to say thank you, or even just convey his gratitude with a kiss, but instead he heard himself say “I’m sorry that I get like this sometimes.” He _was_ sorry, even though Magnus had continued to insist that he didn’t have to be, because it still felt like a lot to ask of anyone to be so accommodating to something so chaotic. “Dr. Hale said it will get easier to make peace with, but I’m just not there yet.”

“No one is asking you to be, least of all me.” Magnus held out his pinky to him, the rest of his fingers curled in a fist. “I’m in this with you, no matter what. Pinky promise.”

“Pinky promise?”

With a playfully exasperated sigh, Magnus rolled his eyes. “The most solemn of promises.” He hooked his pinky with Alec’s and squeezed gently. “I know what it’s like to struggle like this, and I’m not going to leave you to find your way through alone.”

**Author's Note:**

> come find me on [tumblr](http://royaltybane.tumblr.com)


End file.
